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Time:01:03 am
Tonight I was dancing on the dance floor without a care in the world, thinking of all the music that I'll play at my wedding. Were people looking at me? Who cares! I was free! Then I took a taxi back home and the driver had the windows down. I looked at the houses as they passed and felt the breeze whip my hair. I thought of Tim and the craziness and how at that moment he would truly understand the feeling in my core. Here's to Denver! I love you!
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Time:05:52 pm
It is storming out (rain/thunder) and that rarely happens here in Denver. I am alone tonight (well except for Higgins) because Bryce is away in New Jersey for his niece's graduation. Jenjen just left this morning. It's nice to have tonight to myself. I'm eating leftover calamari and contemplating making brownies. I just attempted to start a scrapbook that is 2 years in the making until realizing I need more pics printed and more scrapbooky stuff.

It's a good night. I wish I could go back to this moment whenever I want.
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Time:11:17 am
I have had this journal since 2003! Best keep it going :)

I'm really excited for 2011 and I'm not sure why! I was excited for 2010 too, and it showed me a lot of ups and downs. No doubt 2011 will be the same, but hopefully more ups than downs :)

I'm pretty optimistic though. Had a great holiday break. I thought it might be tough being last year's holiday time was quite different. I had Mitch and I had Tim visiting. It's strange to think how much things change in a year.

I got a camelbak for Christmas and it's weird that it's the one gift I'm super stoked about. I want to get on the trails ASAP! I want to try snowshoeing with it, but the thing I'm most excited about is hiking in the summer. Can't wait!

It'll be interesting to see what this year holds for me. Yay!

Margie
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Time:07:22 pm
So many changes...

I love my job, I remember where I was a year ago. In some ways I was happy (relationship wise) but also scared (relationship and job wise) and unsure (everything). But my job now (even though RIGHT this moment I'm a tad bored) is awesome. Truly awesome. The next couple of weekends are going to be tough (mostly this Saturday and then Nov 6), but I'm ok. Due to working on the weekends, I have off on Mondays (next three in a row and I had off on Monday). So I do get some time off at least. However Wednesdays (like today) have been absolutely dead the past couple of weeks, I should start taking off then!

I am going to Seattle in November! I'm visiting Tim for his 30th. Should be fun, I can't wait. It'll be good to get away for a little bit and spend time with Churly! I try to get out and socialize and I think I'm doing a pretty good job of it. I haven't gotten to the point of having people on "speed dial", but I'll get there. It takes time...hell I've only been here 4 months. Just be patient (never my strong suit lol).

It's been tough to be in Colorado and single, almost a cruel twist of fate that I made it out here after my relationship failed. I know now that things were not meant to be and it's all for the best, but I miss that feeling of being in a relationship. Once again, I need to be patient and know that it will come in time. In the meantime I need to enjoy life (and hanging with Higgins!!!)

Margie
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Time:10:01 pm
The one thing I'm glad about with my breakup to Mitch is that I'm not bitter. I mean, shit was fucked, that's true. Things could have been better or whatever. But the fact of the matter is...in a couple of months or whatever when I've moved on, I won't look back at anger...I mean I won't be happy with the other girls and shit and honesty, but Mitch was never a total douchebag like Sage. Otherwise it wouldn't have lasted as long obviously.

But Sage. Holy shit. I still look at shit like that and I'm like, what a fucking fake. What a douchebag, fo' real. It's amazing. Whatever, I have a new life in a new city and it's great. I just hate that that shit still gets a rise out of me.
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Time:09:24 pm
Vacation is always fun and relaxing but sometimes you need a vacation from the vacation. I guess that's how I felt yesterday. We drove back from the beach and yeah I had to wake up ealier than usual and I was just...tired, but it wasn't like I had been running around the whole day. We literally got up, got breakfast and drove home. As soon as I came home, I helped unpack everything, went up to the Margie-cave (room above the garage) and proceeded to veg the fuck out. I was prepared to actually sleep, but the room was too hot for that. My parents had turned off the AC for the cave for the week, so it took a while for it to heat up. With the ceiling fan running it wasn't completely unbearable. But anyways, I went on my laptop, ate some cheetos and turned on the tv. I watched Be Cool followed by Footloose. I must say, it was great. Knowing that everyone was doing their own thing and I could be by myself but still surrounded by family, just lazing, watching goofy movies was greeeeeatttt!

The beach was fun of course. Tim came for the first half and we went to the beach everyday and to the pool. We went jetskiing and kayaking which was funnnn. We flipped over in the jet ski. That was funny. The bottom of the sound was gross. But we survived to tell the story!

Much is happening now. Getting Higgins the puppy on Tuesday (day after tomorrow). Frank the new Director starts on Thursday. Margie has a job at REGIS UNIVERSITY IN DENVER!!!! I got the job! Funny I'm moving out on my own (but just too perfect). I know Mitch and I are no longer together (and that's fine) but I wanted to move to Denver. It'll be so awesome. I just have to get the house searching going and hopefully I can just move out there with a place lined up.

This entry turned out longer than I anticipated. :-P
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Time:11:56 am
I always forget I have this damn thing sometimes. Thank God May is over, thank God the summer is over, I swear it will go down as one of the worst! Sage was/is such a douchebag I can't believe I ever got so upset over him.

Needless to say, he's completely gone, out of the picture, whatever. Meanwhile, things have been going verrrrry good indeed! I recently became the new Interim Director, woo-hoo! I'm happy only because that means Fonda is not the Interim anymore. Things were so damn tense under her. At least now the mood of the office is a little better. Fonda may still act passive aggressive and all, but for the most part, it's much more relaxing.

There's something going on with someone else at the moment :):):) but I'm not up for writing about it right now. Actually I'm not really up for writing anything, I think I'd rather eat lunch. LOL.

Margie
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Time:09:11 am
I have no idea why I'm updating this right now...I mean I have a lot of work I need to get done AND I need some coffee desparately, but whatever.

Things between me and Sage went from good to really fucking bad in a very short time. Now we are not even talking...by my own choice...because I don't need too. I don't need to have feelings for him again, b/c he won't have any for me. And I don't need to hear about his girlfriend or whatever. It would be ok if we were just friends and he only had friends, but that's not the case. Oh my god, just typing it makes me upset again.

So I guess I tried to be friends with him since we like fixies and all...but like I said, it just gets hard trying to talk.

Meanwhile I love my fixie! I'm very excited to be taking it to the beach this year. I ride it everywhere except right now it's sitting in my apartment not being ridden b/c the chain is fucked up. Oh well, hopefully I can fix that tonight. I'd love to go on the Thursday night bike ride, although I really can't stay out too late. I might have to skip it again, sigh. I have bball official's camp tomorrow, which means I have to get into work kind of late. We'll see...

I'm rambling b/c I am stressed. Work is ok, I will say that. Fonda took over as interim director and at first it was bullshit and drama, but now I'm actually doing things and getting things accomplished. I appreciate it as opposed to doing absolutely nothing. I'm just stressed about personal things and I really don't know why.

I'm just going to stop. Crappy entry. LOL.
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Time:02:57 pm
It's funny when your heart tells you two different things.
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Subject:Drama once again
Time:10:59 am
Well, last night things came to a head...sort of? While I was under the impression that Sage and I would remain friends, I attributed most of this to the fact that he had no free time for anything else. Instead he told me he started seeing someone, so obviously his reason for not dating me wasn't because of time. Well, whatever, it makes me angry just thinking about it, to be honest. So, therefore I'm trying not to think about it. He told me this because he is taking her to the Zoo Brew, which I'm going to with Merry, another nursing student. so ultimately I will run into him I'm sure, but I'll be cool about it. It's stupid getting upset over something that I can't change nor do I want to. I'm tired of thinking about boys. I just want to have fun before like I used to pre-Sage drama. I'm not entirely sure that I want to stay friends with Sage because I don't really think it's beneficial to my emotional health, lol. I'm kind of over being criticized, over being told too many conflicting stories, etc.

This could be the kick in the butt I needed to jump start my life again. First of all, I plan on going on the Thursday night bike ride in Cooper Young tonight with the people from the bike shops around town. I got the number of the guy who worked on my bike last night and he said I should come out. So I am :). Also, I'm looking to get into Disc Golf again and might join the league once more (after a bit of practicing). Oh just thinking about it makes me want to go out and play some! For sure this weekend :). Finally, I've decided to go ahead and find out more information about getting another degree through U of M. Since UT is paying for it, I feel I should do it. I have a strong feeling about this, so I'm going to try and find some more information and if I'm ready, start the application process to get it in by the November 1 deadline. Margie could be a EdD in the future! Holy shit, can you imagine, "Dr. Rodgers"?? Jesus I might wind up teaching. Wow. Haha.

So since I was feeling a bit down and all I started reading past entries when I was feeling very optimistic here. It has helped to remind me that, "this too, shall pass." I will feel better about myself and I will be the old Margie I once was. I deserve better and I will see it!

Margie
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[icon] Margie's Journal
View:Recent Entries.
View:Archive.
View:Friends.
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